I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
