Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
