do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
