There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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