I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
