the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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