super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
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