Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
