if only i could text you this smell
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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