Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
