New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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