it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She bit a glass in half.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
