I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize