so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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