its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
