I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
