He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
