either way he was missing a nipple.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
