Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
