Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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