put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
