Can i not drive my cunt home
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
