where am i from again
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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