new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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