he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize