I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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