He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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