Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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