Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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