What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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