no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
