He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
