so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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