Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
