Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize