My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
