Is it because I queefed?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
