At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
