are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
