if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
