i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
