bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
