I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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