But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
