If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
