Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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