i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Vodka?
Forever.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
