Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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