I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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