omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
