Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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