Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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