Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
