belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
