I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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