Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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