I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
