This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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