I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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