East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
